Journaling – change of air

Journaling is something I do from time to time to put to paper what I have going on in my head, to clarify my thoughts. Usually, I write these thoughts down on notepads and – having several notepads – I usually misplace what I have previously written to find it much later on. Some organisation is required and this blog will provide it for me. Hopefully, it will also provide you with some things to think about, some ideas…

Today, when I went out of the garden early this morning, I noticed a change of air. The sun was shining and the sky was blue, as it was yesterday and the past week, but the air was different. Fresher, sharper and with a soft, musty smell… For me this means one thing, autumn is on its way and the holidays, the sun, the summer – my favourite season – is over.

My first reaction was a little bit of sadness, this familiar pinch around my heart, which  I remember having every year around this time, when it meant the end of the holidays and back to school. A little bit of apprehension, butterflies in my stomach at the unknown, at the new school year…

This first reaction subsided and I reflected that today, it doesn’t mean the same thing. It is a much more exciting time: the yoga classes I love teaching will start again, I have a new appreciation for the change of colours in the trees and the cosiness of colder days… Yes, I will miss the long summer evenings, but it isn’t all bad!

This change of air, which used to fill me only with stress and some anxiety can now fill me with some excitement at the new season, at a sense of renewal brought by the steady transition from summer to autumn.

Taking a moment with unpleasant feelings can help assess if this feeling still has any value in this precise moment. I was still carrying emotions and sensations from many years ago, which are not relevant anymore. Taking a moment to pause and breathe, identify the feeling and telling myself : ok, I have this “new school year” feeling. What’s this about? What I have ahead of me now isn’t the unknown of new subjects, new classmates but a return to activities I like. Try and let it go.

I’m not saying that it is easy and that this familiar “end of the holiday” heartache will not come back between now and mid-September, but I now have tools to bring this feeling to the present moment and try let it go.  A small change in the right direction!

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